Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Mistresses Attack

"I'm glad to meet you, Olga," says Virginia.  "How are you?"

"Lousy, but getting better," says Olga.  "He abandoned me in that field, and then didn't talk to me for months.  Pants puddled at my feet didn't make any difference."

"I don't know about that," says Virginia.  "Ours has always been a platonic relationship.  We go out to the cabin and talk, just him and me."

"Not ours," says Olga.  "It was sex from the start.  I even heard Karen say, 'I can picture you, Olga, Countryside and Mother Earth News, having fun in one of those little catwalk bedrooms.'  Of course, he never took me there.  Me and papa propagating veggies, that's what we do."

"Gardening is pretty sexy," says Virginia.  "How'd you meet?"

"He never told you?" says Olga.  "It was all Karen's doing.  In fact, she gave me as a Christmas present last year.  Great fun, hiding in a bay of the barn, hoping he'd find me early.  Fat chance, he hates to force-bloom anything.  And you?"

"Forced serendipity," Virginia laughs.  "He was looking for someone and I pushed my way in.  Now he can't get rid of me."

"I've got him," says Olga.  "I'm negotiating with People magazine.  A photograph tells all."

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