Porn Stars

Sex delayed my departure this morning by about 5 minutes. Karen thrust our digital camera my way, coaxing me into the role of film-maker. I recently noticed, by the way, that one of the nearby theaters continues to use film, so the term remains apropos.

"You'd better turn it on," she said. "This may not take long."

Witty rushed to the girls' gate, breathless and snorting. "Don't toy with me," said his eyes as his nose angled toward Polly. Playing coy, Polly held back as Strawberry, the boss with horns, slipped through the gate. "Witty, my boy, stay away," Strawberry seemed to say. "I want the pasture. I'm tired of hay."

"Come on, Polly," ordered the goat mistress. Polly, the cock-tease, inched toward the gate, floating pheromones. When she finally squeezed through, she had no time to fix her hair, comb her beard or light a couple candles. Five seconds later, Witty stepped away, satiated.

"Cut," said Virginia. "You forgot the apple cider vinegar."

ACV is reported to increase the likelihood of does, which is not why I drink it twice a day.